Happy Holidays – but keep me on the ground!
Ahhh! Holiday time! It conjures up memories of families gathered ‘round the table, with actual wax candles in their holders, really lit up and gently illuminating everyone’s smiling faces. Lovely! For most people, that is. Then, there are those of us who live life a bit differently from most and holidays can take on a really different meaning. For us, it’s a time to do things we would never, EVER normally do, not in our wildest dreams! Not all of us grandmas have flour-covered aprons on. Some of us wear riding boots…..
One rather exuberant holiday event was the now infamous “Team Penning Incident”, which was held around Thanksgiving time a few years back. What is team penning, you ask? It’s a sporting event in the world of western horseback riding and rodeos, one better left to the professionals. Basically, a group of cattle is released on one end of this huge indoor riding ring. They charge down the field, helter- skelter, with people on horseback attempting to herd them into these little tiny penned in areas at the opposite end of the field. Hence “Team” (the folks on horseback) “Penning”, getting these poor, confused and somewhat angry cows into a little pen.
I was just learning to ride. My stable master, a rather old-time, gnarly, fat-back and grits cowboy from a different era and planet, had no qualms whatsoever about plunking me into a saddle on this huge horse and telling me to “Stay put! That’s all you have to do….just stay in the 16 hole and don’t move!” The 16 hole is the itty bitty space between the ‘walls’ of the cattle pen (metal gate-like panels) and the actual fence surrounding the riding ring. Basically, there is just enough room for a horse and rider – and the idea is to plug up that space with their bodies so that the cows can’t go anywhere but into the pen itself. Sounds pretty good in theory, right? Read on…
Nervous as can be, I sat on Moon, a huge American quarter- horse stallion (but gentle as a lamb), in the 16 hole spot, and waited for the event to begin. A loud horn screamed over the noise of the crowd – and about 20 “cows” came charging into the ring. Only they weren’t exactly cows. They were steers, with most of them sporting horns as long as a foot or more in length! And…they were coming straight at me and Moon!!
I had no idea what to do! All I could picture was Moon and me covered in blood with these huge steer horns going straight through our bodies like giant push-pins on a bulletin board, and I just froze. The crowd began to scream at us: “MOVE!! MOVE!!!” But, my stable master had told me to just stay there and stay put. So, that’s what I did. Besides, finding reverse on a horse who is already not too happy to begin with wasn’t so easy and I sure as hell wasn’t going to go forward, into the oncoming onslaught of these hell-bent for leather steers! So, I sat there and held my ground with Moon, who was snorting and kind of dancing from foot to foot. Not knowing what else to do, I turned and actually waved to the crowd – who suddenly began to cheer like crazy!! To them, I was exhibiting bravery the likes of which they hadn’t seen in a dog's age. But in reality, I was just being the inexperienced newbie that I truly was. Suddenly, one steer was thundering too close to the side of the ring and was heading straight for the 16 hole. NOW I had a problem! Moon clearly was not happy with this turn of events, nor was I. The steer wasn’t too crazy about it, either, but his momentum and all 2000 pounds of him just kept him coming.
Just like “that”, I was airborne as Moon decided to rear up at the last second. What a weird feeling that was! For a split second in time, I was not in contact with anything and was launched with rocket speed to about 8 to 10 feet above the ground – and was then coming back down just as fast. I hung on for dear life and almost before I knew it, I was back in my saddle with Moon snugly beneath it. The steer somehow put his brakes on in the nick of time and did a crazy 360 turn and swooped INTO the adjacent pen. The crowd wildly cheered its approval and then the buzzer sounded, signaling that this round of the event was over.
My friends from our stable just stood there -- for the longest time -- with their jaws gaping wide open…and as they helped me down off Moon, they clapped me soundly on my back, congratulating me the whole time. “WOW! We didn’t know you had it in you!” they chanted, among other things. One friend, Cora Jean (of course!), was just livid that I had somehow managed to upstage her – but all in all, I was too happy to still be alive to worry about anything else. Talk about “ Happy Thanksgiving!” Yee-freakin’-HA!
Somewhere in this neck of the woods are pictures of this team penning event, and a woman on a huge white horse who was rearing up, much like “Hi Yo Silver!”, and I’m told one even made the local paper. I’ve never seen them myself, nor do I care to. As for team penning, I never tried it again. One rodeo event in a newbie’s life is quite enough, thank you very much!
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