THTSL manual - "Generations- What to do with all the stuff."

“Generations”

What to do with all the stuff

_______________________________________

The late, great George Carlin said it right and said it best:

“So when you get right down to it, your house is nothing more than a place to keep your stuff…while you go out and get…more stuff. ‘Cause that’s what this country is all about. Tryin’ to get more stuff….”

I’ll never forget the first time I heard his monologue on “Stuff”. I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! George was a master at playing with the English language, and  his clever use of irony made his side-splitting, laugh- uproarious monologues true American Classics. One thing for sure is that his point-blank, no-holds-barred view of Life made his audience come away with the feeling that, “Yes....he made a great point and in every sense of the word, is entirely correct.”

I loved the “Stuff” monologue the best on so many levels. Not only was the word-play hilarious, but the meanings behind the words were undeniable. And, I found out that George was absolutely correct  -- more often than not, our stuff defines who we are. The stuff we keep and the stuff we discard or give away holds more truth about us than anyone could ever imagine.

For example:

Most people in the 45 to about 50 or so and up age bracket are facing the reality of suddenly having to deal with other people’s stuff. And, I’m talking about a lot of stuff. For my hubby and me, we had to deal with the things he inherited from his parents’ home which included many artifacts from his grand-parents as well. The same went for me: when we invited my mom to come live with us, where else were her belongings and furnishings going to go but in our home? I swear to God, but right now our basement looks like a museum from the early 1900’s up to about the year 2000. That’s pretty impressive, come to think of it!  I’ve found photos so old that they are done in shades of brown (called “sepia”) naturally. You can’t help but wonder if people back then thought those pictures were done in color, and that they were mighty pleased with their accomplishment.

At any rate, between the furniture, china, glassware, books, records, video tapes, reel to reel tape recorders,  and so many other things I’ve yet to un-box, we have a virtual store-house of stuff that belongs to us, but was never ours to begin with. It is the oddest feeling! What, exactly, does one keep and what does one toss?

There is a cute little figurine carved from wood that was made in Italy many years ago. My dad loved that little guy! With his tiny little wooden hand holding a bow poised above a minuscule violin frozen in timelessness, the figurine meant something powerful to my dad. To me, it is a curiosity that looks like it would be impossible to dust or clean without breaking it. But, Dad loved that carving. So, what should I do with it? The immediate response would most probably be “Put it on display someplace in your home.” Right. Along with, for example:  dishes, bone china tea cups and saucers, a salt and pepper set collection that spanned almost 100 years, a shadowbox in the shape of a crescent moon, with little stairs going from bottom to top, each step holding a little knick-knack. Or, how about a shot glass collection, or about roughly 500 back-issues of The National Geographic magazine? And, let’s not forget more than 200 hand-embroidered or hand made dresser scarves, doilies and other things that withered, arthritic hands worked on with loving care. Almost bordering on the ridiculous, I have six sets of sterling silver tableware stored away: one each from my mother, her mother, Richie’s mother and grandmother, one great aunt – and one set that was given to me as young bride many years back.

Then, there are the nearly 500 LP records from my dad, who was a professional musician and music teacher. Carefully boxed away, we don’t dare unpack them for fear they will somehow be destroyed if we do. And....his video collection! Somehow, he and my mom got involved with one of those “Just buy one a month for the next 100 years…” companies, and the final upshot is that we wound up with more than 10 cardboard boxes of now-antiquated VCR tapes. In other words, my husband and I are drowning in stuff – all of it other people’s stuff. And, we aren’t quite sure what to do with it all. My kids want mementos, and that’s fine. But, they don’t necessarily want to take possession of it all just yet. Then, as some of them pointed out,  there will be the matter of our stuff, when my husband and I shuffle off this mortal coil, things that my kids will have to deal with then, much as Richie and I are dealing with right now.

I swear this is also true: somewhere in my basement is a cardboard box that contains a lovely crystal stemware set that was a wedding gift from my first marriage. This set I have not seen in almost 25 years! That’s how long ago I packed it up, along with packing in my first marriage – and I haven’t seen it since.

I desperately want to clean out my basement, but I don’t dare. For certain, I will offend someone, somewhere, be they here on this mortal plain or elsewhere, if I dare to toss anything out or to give it away. There is enough furniture downstairs to completely furnish another home! But, my husband can’t bear to part with his mother’s “antiques” – and I have a similar problem when it comes to parting with my mother’s things. I’ve been trying to sort through and weed out a great many things for years, and mostly succeeded in just moving most of it from one spot to another. This is not my idea of organizing, not by a long shot!

Please don’t misunderstand me: I am honored to be the ‘gatekeeper’ of so many memories of so many beloved and greatly-missed people. It’s just that our home is very limited in space and I am very torn between what to show- case, and what to leave packed away. It always feels as if I am being unfair to somebody, as if I’m leaving someone out if their most treasured possession isn’t on display.  Sometimes it even feels as if I don’t exist. If in some crazy universe we are wondered about by our “stuff”, then mine is packed away, buried under many other past lives’ and their life’s events, quietly waiting for another living person to discover it, and then to decide what to do with it all. 

My poor kids are going to have to sort out this huge mountain of ‘stuff’ when it’s our turn to leave this world. I pity them – and hope they are up to the challenge. If they think we have a lot in our basement, they are going to keel over when they realize how much stuff we collected of our own – which is all upstairs – and which one assumes that one day will reside in their own basements.

George, you got it right, buddy! “Stuff” and more stuff – and our homes are truly meant to house it all. I just wish you would have told us how many generations’ worth is the safe and sane limit!