Well, I guess I am not quite over the 'nesting" instinct. Relax, gang. I'm not talking about babies (at our age....Good Lord Almighty, NO!) I'm talking about sprucing up the nest we already have.
What they say is true: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT
start any projects around the house, or you will be sorry! One little thing
somehow mushrooms into a mad flurry of activity, resulting in bunches of money
going out faster than it ever came in. And, somehow, it is all never quite
'done.' So, about half way through our little spruce- up, I got the bright idea
to see what else is on the market. Yeah -- a buyer's market is THE time to
look, I told myself. Really, I was trying to duck out of going any further with
our madness of fixing up this place we call home. So, believe it or not, we DID
find something rather interesting, just a few miles up the road from us. It
sounded wonderful, the kind of house I always dreamed of!! The pictures on the
web showed a house well cared-for and cared about with every creature comfort
you could think of, including a massive "Florida room" -- which could house the
entire downstairs of our present home, with room left over. A HUGE in-ground
pool was right outside that room from paradise -- and the inviting blue water
looked so cool and refreshing!! I just about ran all around, looking for my
floaties, as we prepared to meet the Realtor the next day at the house.
Waiting for us in the spacious driveway, the Realtor figured he'd better prepare us for a little surprise: "There is some slight water damage, " he said, looking a bit sheepish. "Don't worry - a coat or paint will have it looking good as new in no time!" he finished with a flourish.
We entered the massive house (did I mention it was huge??) Nearly 4000 sq.ft. I believe the ad said.And, about 50 of 'em were lying face down in the downstairs hallway. The hallway ceiling had fallen down and lay in dusty piles all over the once-powder blue rug! "Water damage??" I asked, stepping gingerly around the fallen plaster pieces.
"Uh..yeah," he said. "Toilet upstairs probably over flowed or something. Hey! Did you see the size of the family room over here?!" he quickly added, hoping to distract us for a moment or two or a thousand.
My hubby was ominously quiet, always a bad sign. Polite to a fault -- but not saying much whatsoever. He asked where the basement door was and Mr. Realtor pointed to it. Richie went on downstairs and I swear, I have NEVER, in my whole life, seen such a dark, dreary, and totally horror movie-like basement! When I saw him round the bottom of the stairs, I held my breath, and squeezed my eyes shut tightly, expecting to hear a blood curdling scream at any moment! None came. Within moments, Richie was back upstairs.
"How long has the water been pooling down there?" he asked. The realtor tried to explain various scenarios re: sump pumps and what-not (boring stuff for a woman!) and I lost interest. I wanted to see the appliances in the kitchen. One look at the ancient stove caused me to actually ache for the new range back home that we bought 2 years ago, and its lovely glass top and self cleaning oven!
As I heard the men's conversation turn toward things such as "biologic tests for mold" and other dry as dirt topics, I meandered outside to view the pool and landscaping. The pool was a total nightmare! I mean, at any moment I expected to see a skeleton, eye ball, or other scary thing pop up to the nearly green-black water's surface, next to the dead cover floaty things bobbing around aimlessly. In my wildest dreams, I could NOT imagine that water ever, ever becoming blue and sparkling clean again! And the landscaping -- holy smokes! I never knew weeds could turn into tree-like plants if left alone to grow long enough, undisturbed and well nourished by the yuck probably leaching from the pool. Just how old WERE those pictures shown on the Web??? Probably about 5 years was my guess! (Turns out, I was almost right!)
We thanked the realtor as we left, and honestly, we could not get away fast enough! Back home that night, we both sat in our cozy living room, enjoying all of the sprucing up we did over the past 2 weeks, including putting in a deck out back and a patio out front -- and felt safe and secure there. We talked a bit about 'the dream house' we went to see and as I live and breathe, I will never forget my better half's final comment on it:
With dead-pan expression, he said, " The
only thing missing was Jack Nicholson’s insane grinning face coming around a
corner and yelling "Heeeeere's Johnnny!!"
Yup. That said it all!
